I Think My Intuition is Broken (Day 4 of my Manifestation Miracle Journey)
If you recall. . .my challenge yesterday was to say yes to every opportunity, sadly, I didn’t have a lot of opportunity to say yes, so I think I will try it again today. Certainly no hot guys to say yes to!!! I really only got to say yes to my kids having milkshakes and I certainly don’t think that yes is going to change my life! It makes me sad that no one called with any offer that I could say yes to. . .this exercise is turning out to be harder than I expected.
I struggled again last night. Negative and sad thoughts infiltrated my brain. . .I focused on the loss that I am going through and I felt the familiar pin pricks of pain throughout my chest. Since I am learning a new way, I purposefully put good thoughts in my head.
‘I am going to be madly in love. I deserve financial security and wealth.’ Sadly, that’s as far as I got before my mind wandered to a dear friend of mine that is now married but her relationship began as an affair. Her now husband was married to someone else when they fell in love. He left his wife for her and because of this, his kids hated my friend for breaking up their family. She spent holiday’s alone because he spent them with his kids, obviously not her dream relationship. But she knew in her heart that he was her future and now 10 years later, they are married, they are happy and the kids adore her. I was against their relationship but seriously. . .who am I to judge? They made it and I tried to do everything ‘right’ only to end up alone. Maybe my new yes attitude should be if it feels good, just do it and stop trying to do things ‘right’.
Today’s lesson, interestingly is all about intuition and gut reaction.
I used to be so in touch with my intuition. I can think of several times it served me well in my past and times I’ve ignored it. I had a negative feeling about a past boyfriend that I chose to ignore and he was terrible, I could literally hear my intuition chiding me with ‘I told you so’s’ when I realized that he was terrible. I don’t listen to my gut when it comes to men because I want to believe the best in everyone. Why do I do that? Why do I ignore my own warning system? I’ve avoided jail because of it. . .long story short. . .I left a group of people making questionable choices because of a bad feeling I had and that group ended up arrested. I’ve prepared myself for job losses because of that trusty intuition. Starting now. . . I need to apply it to ALL areas in my life instead of convincing myself that it’s just my jaded, guarded self. But, how do I tell the difference? And it’s been so long since I’ve listened to it. . .can I even hear it any longer?
Trust in yourself. Trust in divine guidance. Trust the universe.
My daily exercise is telling me that I need to pay closer attention to my intuition and the universe. . .to do that. . .meditate. Meditate to get in touch with your intuition, ask yourself what your body knows that you need to be aware of. I tried, I really did, but it didn’t work. I didn’t get a feeling one way or the other, maybe my body doesn’t hold any deep dark secrets. Am I putting too much pressure on myself? I can’t possibly feel magical and deep every day, right?
3 Things –
- I’m grateful when my friends recognize our friendships.
- I’m grateful for singing songs. . .very loud . . .in the car with my daughter.
- I’m grateful when I feel inspired to write, then I reread what I wrote and I feel pride in my message.
- I’m grateful to the loyalty that I have for those I love and adore. I have been told that loyalty is a positive attribute but a hindrance in my life because I’m too loyal. I’m going to choose to call it a positive that I am grateful for.
Check me out. . .going above and beyond with my gratitude.
Today wasn’t a success. . .in any sense of the word. It was filled with failures in saying yes, in my mediation and in getting in touch with my intuition but this is a process that I am committed to. I’m continuing forward with positive light that this will work. The road to success is filled with bumps and today was a bumpy road. Ok. . .I will stop with the clichés now and leave you with-
This will work, I will get everything I want in my life. I am investing this time every day in me.
See you tomorrow!